Chapter 15: Fellswig Robot Slippers

“Curious,” said the elder. 

“What is?” asked Garrow.

“How are the Byzongs able to do all this? The President’s smell file, the vacation moons, even their plan to take the water and —” he asked.

The Cosmovision 818 Series beeped again and displayed a new, much grander, full-color hologram. 

There was President Racha, standing in-between the Boss of Ships and a proud Inquisitor Slah. And walking up behind to join them was the Non-Personal Assistant to the Executive Assistant to the President of Earth, Destiny.

“Ahoy! What a nice audience you all are,” beamed the Boss of Ships. “I come to you now with a live APB*. My name is Gurnn, and I’m in charge of the Byzong’s premiere warship. Next to me you may recognize President Racha of Earth from the recent alerts. Although, as you may have gathered from our previous alerts, we did not, recognize her. You see, faces can change due to hair or age or any number of alterations, and as Byzongs we prefer—“

*All Planets Bulletin.

Inquisitor Slah interrupted him with a stern COUGH.

“Ah, yes, um, moving on. We are coming to you live from the warship to announce a very exciting development indeed. I will allow President Racha herself to elaborate.”

President Racha stepped in the front of the hologram. 

“Thank you for the warm welcome, Gurnn. And hello universe! For those of you who don’t know Earth, we’re a quaint little planet with warm summers and cold winters. But there’s one problem we’ve always had: too much darn water!”

Jackson watched in awful awe as the President continued.

“And luckily, these friendly Byzongs have offered to take it off our hands for us! So, we will be heading to Earth, where I will sign over the rights to them in a big celebration!”

Dusty and Plod, who had both been recording the broadcast, beeped back and forth in dismay at the news. They were no longer wearing their Fellswig Robot Slippers, not just the quietest and most comfortable slippers a BOT can buy, but also the most popular. So popular, that Fellswig is the kind of company that can afford to buy multiple advertisements within the same book, even when their product is only used once.

President Racha gave a great big smile and stood silently.

Inquisitor Slah raised her boot, intending to give a subtle tap to remind President Racha of their yet-undisclosed plan. But given the status of her position as a respected Byzong leader, when she lowered them, her boots made a loud CLANG that reverberated through the President’s ears, the Pocket Watches’ headquarters, and all of the homes, ships, planets, and asteroids watching the video-cast.

As she stuck a finger in her ear and wiggled it to try to stem the ringing she was now experiencing, President Racha remembered the most important part of her deal with the Byzongs.

“And… to any other planet’s leaders with salt water out there, you should consider letting the Byzong’s take it, with generous compensation of course!” 

“They can’t do this!” shouted Jackson. 

As he stood up again to make his point more dramatically, his hands pressed onto the side of the table. His right hand found the edge of the table, just as he intended, and therefore requires no more description. His left hand, however, landed on a small upright gear that was built into the table. Had he been a Pocket Watch, he might have known that each seat had such a gear in front of it, and that each gear was designed to make hologram calls that would be broadcast in the center of the table, in the same way as he had just witnessed. And had he known how to operate the gear system, he would have perhaps known how far to turn it to get the exact person he’d like to speak to. Instead, he turned it exactly one notch, without noticing.

Turning the gear one notch, as every Pocket Watch but no Jacksons knew, called back the most recent connection. In this case, that meant Destiny. And in this case, that meant that her pocket hologram disk vibrated in her pocket aboard the Byzong Warship. And in this case, that also meant that when she nervously tried to pull it out and silence it, she inadvertently answered the call and dropped the vibrating disc into the center of the floor, in front of the disc that was broadcasting the Byzong message.

As the hologram of Jackson Fickle appeared in front of a shocked President Racha, Gurnn, and Inquisitor Slah, Destiny could do nothing but freeze.

Inside the secret headquarters of the Pocket Watches, it is hard to describe what everyone saw to anyone with limited experiences with hologram technology. But, for hologram-savvy readers and non-hologram-savvy readers alike, I shall describe what everyone in that room saw as best, and as simply, as possible.

In connecting a call to Destiny, Jackson promoted the creation of a second hologram in the center of the table. This one, from a similar vantage point, was overlaid on top of the Byzong’s official APB. This means that Jackson was in fact seeing two holograms at once, which is known as a hologramgram. However, because his image was also being transmitted to the Byzong Warship, his hologram appeared within the Byzong’s hologram. This hologram within a hologram is commonly referred to as holohologram. Therefore, a hologramgram, with one of the holograms being a holohologram, was being projected. This means, as any hologram-savvy reader will tell you, Jackson saw a hologramholohologram, or would have, if he had been paying attention to any of this at all.

“We need a new President!” stated Jackson, not yet realizing that he had created a hologramholohologram in the center of the room. 

Tarza stood up suddenly next to him.

“She has no right to give away our water, and someone needs to stop her! Is that… is that Byzong warship, and is that me on the hologram?” said Jackson, now realizing that he had created a hologramholohologram in the center of the room, but not knowing that such a word existed for it.

“What did you do?? Turn it off!” said Azzle. 

Tarza turned the dial back quickly and the call was disconnected.

“That’s not good,” said Garrow.

“Was that really me in there?” asked Jackson.

“It was,” said the elder.

“That was Destiny’s disc. What’s going to happen to her?” asked Tarza.

The room had begun to buzz and murmur. Pocket Watches went over to screens on the side of the room and got to work trying to gather information. 

Azzle shook his head. “They’ll find out she’s a Pocket Watch for certain.”

“I think we’re missing the bigger point here!” added Garrow. “It’s just been confirmed that Earth’s oceans are going to be sold to the Byzongs! And we all know what that means!”

The Ollywog Pocket Watch, who had been busy on a large screen to the left of the clock, came over to the elder one more time and whispered in his ear. If you are not familiar with Ollywogs then you would not have known, when told of the first time he whispered in the elder’s ear, that Ollywog mouthes are the size of an Earth gumball. But upon this second instance, and having now been informed of the mouth size of Ollywog’s you can properly appreciate the discrete tiny-mouthed nature of an Ollywog whisper.

“We don’t have time to worry about Jackson’s mistake. We have to figure out a way to stop the Byzongs,” Garrow continued. 

“I believe the two may be linked,” said the elder. 

“What do you mean?” asked Tarza, frazzled and unsure what to do next.

The elder stood up and smiled.

“I believe it’s time for me and our new friend to have a chat,” said the elder. “But before we do, a proper introduction is in order. My name is the Watchmaker. And if my Ollywog friend’s information is correct, you are the next candidate for the President of Earth."

The elder turned around and pushed on the face of the large clock behind him. It swung open slowly as he stepped inside.