Chapter 11: Star Vibes Dance-Training Headphones
Before becoming the Personal Assistant to the Non-Personal Assistant to the Executive Assistant to the President of Earth, Jackson had not traveled much. In fact, he had only left Earth once, as part of a Solar Cruise for his Mother’s 50th birthday. And by the time they had passed Jupiter, he was ready to go back home. And since becoming Personal Assistant to the Non-Personal Assistant to the Executive Assistant to the President of Earth, Jackson had only been asked to join an interstellar expedition once: the same trip that had seen him pulled through a black hole, onto a Byzong Warship, and, more presently, jettisoned through space via a Warp Port.
So, it should come as no surprise to you that when he appeared alongside Tarza, Dusty, and Plod in the heart of Pelligrant’s Station, it was his first time there. He had just been transported, or more accurately, “warped”, into a warping booth and barely made it out of the egg-shaped vessel before the next warping party, a family of Blonga Birds, arrived. If it had not been for the prodding of Plod, he may well have had a Blonga Bird appear on his head, and, given that their beaks can pierce through Earth metal, it’s a good thing he stepped onto the conveyor belt passing by the booth when he did.
“Jackson! We finally made it out!” screamed Tarza, hopping onto the conveyor belt with Dusty.
She gave both the ROBs a big hug.
“Thanks for saving us back there! I knew you guys wouldn’t let me down!”
“Our pleasure,” said Plod.
“Affirmative,” said Dusty. “We will help you in whatever manner we can,” he added.
“Yes, thank you very much,” said Jackson, still dazed and dizzy from the experience.
“You’re welcome,” said Dusty. “We will only help you if it helps Tarza,” he added.
Moving right past it, Jackson asked, “Where are we? And when can we stop moving…?"
“Pelligrant Station of course!” said Tarza.
“I… I can’t say I’m familiar,” he answered.
“You’re not going to stop making any decisions because you’re confused again, are you?” she asked with a smile.
“Haven’t decided,” he said back. Tarza couldn’t be sure, but thought she was beginning to see a spark of confidence in her new friend.
As they moved through, Jackson looked around at the vastness of the station. What struck him the most was the lack of walls. Seemingly, there was nothing separating them from space, yet he was able to breath, and survive, and was quite happy with the temperature.
Above him, there were hundreds, if not thousands, of clear tubes with bright electric blue trains speeding through and passing overhead. And there were conveyor belts, like the one he was on, carrying passengers from solar systems from every corner of the galaxy, and perhaps beyond. Looking at the size and shapes (and glows) of new and wondrous species, he considered how different their cruises must be.
One traveler in particular caught his eye. They resembled an Earth octopus, or squid, but had ten tentacles. And as Jackson had learned during a short but formative phase of his childhood where he was fascinated by the deep sea, octopuses have eight arms, and squids may have eight arms and two tentacles (tentacles having suckers only on the end, and arms having suckers throughout). That is to say, no creature he had ever seen had ten tentacles, and none of them, not a one, used them to stand up and dance on a conveyor belt like they were. It was only when their belt started to converge that Jackson realized they were listening to some music through a set of Star Vibes Dance-Training Headphones, the headphones that use gamma vibrations set to your music to make you dance better than you ever have before, guaranteed. And Jackson had to admit that the alien he was watching had better moves than any human he’d seen.
“Is this where you wanted to take us?” he asked Tarza.
“Not exactly. We can’t warp there directly. No one can. So we’ll have to take a train the rest of the way.”
Soon they were unloaded onto a platform with a massive tree-like structure in the center. If Jackson didn’t know any better, he would say that it was a tree. The roots extended in every direction, winding and weaving around the platform, before disappearing beneath it. Passenger after passenger exited their conveyor belts and made their way towards the tree.
Everyone funneled towards a large opening in the base of the tree, where attendants waited to greet them at small kiosks.
“So this tree-thing will get us there?” asked Jackson.
Tarza shook her head. “It’s not a tree-thing. It’s a Neuro-Simulating Multi-Outlet Distribution Network. NESMOD Networks are a marvel of engineering!”
“Oh,” said Jackson, and nothing more.
As they entered what Jackson would still refer to as “the tree” for the rest of his life, a bubbly attendant with long orange hair and blue skin pulled them over.
“Good morning! I mean, it’s sunrise somewhere, am I right?” she said with a laugh.
“Well I supposed that’s—“ started Jackson.
“Awww,” she said, looking at Jackson’s face sympathetically. “Looks like someone’s still feeling a little sick from the Warp Port. First time?”
“Well actually, ye—“
“No matter, we’ll get you all sorted and on your way in a jiffy! Did you know that a jiffy is actually 33.3564 picoseconds?”
Jackson let her continue without answering.
“So I guess I can’t really say a jiffy can I, since that’s already passed!” she said with another laugh. “Now, what is the name of your destination today?”
She held her hands over the kiosk screen, ready to get to work.
Tarza reached into a secret compartment of her jacket and pulled out the Pocket Watch.
“Not a name,” she said. “A time.”
The attendant’s eyes dropped to the watch and her smile faded.
“Oh. I see. Can’t say I get many time destinations nowadays. In fact, you’ll be my first one. But… there’s a first for everything, am I right?!” she said, forcing another laugh.
“How is a watch going to tell us where we’re going?” Jackson whispered.
“It’s the most foolproof way of finding a destination,” answered Tarza.
“Most folks get by just fine giving us a name,” said the attendant, in a noticeably less-friendly tone as she scrolled through her screen and tapped at various points.
“I’m sure they do. But planets can have similar if not identical names within a galaxy,” replied Tarza.
The attendant looked up to shoot Tarza a firm stare. “And that’s why we accept coordinates as well.”
“Yes, but as you know, with solar conditions and uneven orbits, coordinates can also be less than reliable. The best way to find a planet is to identify it within the time log.”
The attendant scoffed, read the time off the watch, then continued to click away on her screen.
“I still don’t understand. How does a time help you find a place,” asked Jackson.
“Every planet has a different system of time, created a different point in their planet’s history. Think about it, does Saturn have the same date and time as Earth?”
“They couldn’t. Saturn was terraformed only three hundred years ago. Besides, their days are half as long.”
“Exactly! That’s why a planet’s date and time is one of the most unique things about. And certainly the best way to find it,” she said, shooting the attendant a look right back.
“The most secretive way, she means,” said the attendant.
“Huh?” said Jackson.
“Time logs are the oldest method we have here for finding a planet,” answered the attendant.
“Oldest and best,” blurted Tarza.
“It’s rude to interrupt,” said the attendant. “As I was saying, the NESMOD Network knows the date and time of any planet that registered pre-uniformity code. So it can align your train to the destination, but it won’t share the coordinates or name with our administrative system. For years they tried to get it to share the log with us but it gets made when you ask.”
“How does a tree get mad?” Jackson asked to a set of glares from everyone in earshot. “I mean… it really won’t tell you where we’re going?”
“Correct,” said the attendant. She turned the screen towards the group and pressed a glowing button that read “DEPART”.
A hole opened up in the floor in front of them. Jackson peered down to see that a mini train car was waiting for them below, with an open skyroof for boarding. It sat inside a hollowed out root, with a swift current of air blowing around it.
“Enjoy your trip,” she said, forcing another smile.
“After you,” Tarza said to Dusty and Plod. The ROBs wheeled forward and dropped into seats inside the train.
As Jackson began to climb in after them he felt a stirring within the station. The monitors at every kiosk began to flash with a red warning, causing the whole interior to glow crimson. And then, with one foot inside a train car, he looked up at the screen in front of them and saw his own face. “Fugitive: Apprehend Immediately”.
The attendant’s eyes and nostrils flared. “I knew it!!”
“Time to go!” yelled Tarza. She pushed Jackson in and followed from behind. Jackson stared up at the attendant, still frozen in shock, as Tarza closed the skyroof. Without a word, she pushed forward on a lever and sent them careening forward, through a windy, twisted root path.
Within moments, the root emptied them into a clear tube and Jackson saw, for the first time, just how large the station truly was. He imagined he could spend a lifetime there and never see every tube. Jackson began to feel sick again. He thought for a moment that the tube itself was moving. Like a telescope reaching for the right position. He could feel himself pressed back against the soft cushioned seat from the speed.
Jackson could barely hear anything over the whooshing sound of the train flying through the tube.
“Don’t worry! The tubes just point in the right direction!” shouted Tarza, also pressed against her seat.
They exited the tube with a satisfying THWUMP and entered the quiet of space, smoothly floating towards their destination. Tarza sat up straight again and smiled.
“… space takes care of the rest."