Chapter 10: Marloptic Ear Plugs and X-10 Elucidator Monitors

Dusty and Plod’s suction cups receded back inside. They looked at each other, then at Tarza. 

“What did you find?! I demand you tell me right now!” Inquisitor Slah was spitting while she spoke. She was eager to get the information to prove to her superiors and the Inquisitor community at large that she deserves the loudest of boots (the kind of volume that requires her assistants to wear Marloptic Ear Plugs, the small-planet ear plugs with galactic protection.

Dusty and Plod changed their frequencies simultaneously and spoke to each other at decibel levels imperceivable with Byzong ears, and given the tiny, almost rudimentary nature of human ears compared to Byzongs, this mean that Jackson, too, had no idea what they were saying.

Had they been able to, the Byzongs and one human would have heard the following exchange:

DUSTY: Did you view three memories from Tarza’s mind?

PLOD: Yes, I viewed three memories from Tarza’s mind.

DUSTY: Was the final memory previously unknown to you?

PLOD: Yes, the final memory was previously unknown to me. Do you believe she chose to show us those three memories?

DUSTY. Yes, I believe she chose to show us those three memories, instead of the memories which included information of Not-President-Racha describing Earth’s ocean defenses.

PLOD: Given that Not-President-Racha is not President of Earth, I do not believe such memories exist. Why then did she say they did?

Inquisitor Slah was losing her patience. “What are these two doing?? They’re just sitting there!”

But they continued, unknown to the rest of the room:

DUSTY: I believe she wanted us to enter her memories and see all three scenes. 

PLOD: I believe you are correct.

DUSTY: Curious.

PLOD: Curious.

Tarza looked over at Jackson and gave him a reassuring nod. He shot back a look of unmeasured worry.

PLOD: I did not realize that the Byzong Captain took us from her care for these reasons.

DUSTY: I did not realize that the Byzong Captain took us from her care for these reasons either. and that the Byzong Captain was prepared to disassemble us and melt us for parts. 

Dusty’s high-decibel voice faltered at this last word and he let out a beep audible only to the Byzong in the room with the largest ears, who happened to be an assistant. But with such little information and a complete lack of context for the noise, this assistant did not know what it meant or if anyone else had heard it, so therefore remained as silent as high-pitched ROB voices to Byzongs and humans. 

PLOD: May I speak in an unfiltered, unregulated manner?

DUSTY: Affirmative.

PLOD: I have never much liked the way that Byzong’s treat us, save for Tarza, who, as the memories confirmed, has always treated us with kindness and respect. 

DUSTY: Agreed. Perhaps it is time for us to change our vocational setting and alliances.

PLOD: Agreed. I believe I have the most statistically likely strategy for a successful exit, given the nature of Tarza and Not-President-Racha’s previous escape plan and capture. 

Inquisitor Slah pressed down on a button of the control panel, ready to order two additional, more responsive ROBs to complete her task, when Dusty and Plod began to move.

“Ah, finally. Some action,” she said. “Are you going to input the memories into the computer for us to view? Might be nice to share it on the big screen actually…” The Inquisitor was quite happy with herself as she smiled at an assistant. Her confidence was bolstered, perhaps, in part because the largest monitor in the room was an X-10 Elucidator model, which gives Cineverse-Award-caliber quality for a very affordable price. 

They wheeled over to the center of the room. Dusty began spinning in a circle, slowly, then faster.

“What… what is this?” asked the Inquisitor.

Dusty began spinning at a breathtaking speed. His disco ball shined brighter than ever, in a mesmerizing, blurry motion.

“They’re malfunctioning!” said the assistant who had previously not spoken when hearing the errant beep of Dusty.

What they were unaware of, was the squeak-less wheeling of Plod over to the counter which now housed the two confiscated Warp Ports. 

As Dusty began to slow the Inquisitor shook her head in disbelief. 

“I go the two oddest ROBs on this entire ship,” said the Inquisitor.

As Dusty came to a wobbly stop, Plod raced by and pushed him forward towards the prisoners. 

“What now? Going for more memories? I demand a report immediately!”

Plod split apart to join Jackson’s side and slid a Warp Port beneath them. Dusty did the same with Tarza. Not leaving things up to chance, or more accurately, the execution abilities of Jackson, Plod and Dusty lowered their hands and pressed down on the Warp Ports.

By the time Inquisitor Slah and her assistants understood what was happening it was too late. 2.35 seconds too late to be exact. Before she could utter the word “Stop” or raise and lower her boot the 1.2 feet it would take to deliver a BOOM loud enough to incapacitate, Jackson, Plod, Tarza, and Dusty were enveloped by two silver pods, and disappeared with a green flash.